Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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