He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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