This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
