Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He better not be in your backpack
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
