WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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