dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize