I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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