I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize