Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
