Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
