but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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