Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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