So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You can't just leave with hair like that
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
