WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
