Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
