I'm gonna have a badass scar
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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