her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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