my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize