and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
im on a boat
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