I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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