i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
