Only a mothe r could love this liver
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
