Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
