Umm I'm too high to move.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
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I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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