he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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