Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize