Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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