I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
