girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
