You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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