Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize