did you get engaged???
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Randomize