If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i came on her dog
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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