you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
