Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
