I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
