I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
