apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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