we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
