i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
