My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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