seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
