at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
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I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
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I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She has the best kind of daddy issues
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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