i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize