Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.