You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
