i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
