It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
