there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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