thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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