I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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