ADVERTISEMENT

• (904): View more from Florida

  I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.

  Fav 18 1688 1128

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?

  Fav 18 3304 851

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (214): View more from Texas

  I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.

  Fav 20 1278 6936

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.

  Fav 8 3236 1263

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.

  Fav 1 1056 2063

  share tweet
  

• (949): View more from California

  Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.

  Fav 6 2455 968

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying

  Fav 10 978 3155

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.

  Fav 7 2915 1067

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right

  Fav 0 574 624

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (618): View more from Illinois

  After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...

  Fav 2 1139 584

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do

  Fav 4 938 568

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?

  Fav 2 607 387

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.

  Fav 0 589 375

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...

  Fav 1 183 168

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (775): View more from Nevada

  She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"

  Fav 0 277 139

  share tweet
  

Randomize