Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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