I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
